The Making of the New CD:
*Warning:*
This page is only for people who bought 'Version 2'. If you have not, please wear a monkey on your head while viewing this page. Maybe it's not going to make you unable to see, but at least it will slow you down.
~~~Well, where do I begin? I have waiting far too long for this, but now it is time. I'm not going to slip a magic ring onto my finger and be chased by some dark horsemen or anything now, but I am going to try to remember just what happened to get this new CD (Version 2) off the ground. Hazy memory sequence ensues . . . (so I'm hard pressed for gimmicks, okay) . . .
~~~As many of you know, we have had a new member with our band for a while now, Luke McAdam. Now, since Luke joined us, it's just not right to still be selling CD's at our shows that don't even have him on them. Now, make no mistake, this is not one of those big bands trying to divide their profit deals, no no no, our band makes enough money to support only one or two foster cacti through World Vision (that's plural for cactus) so it really has nothing to do with that. It's about honesty, and about including Luke in the band. So, we needed a CD that represented what our band really sounded like.
~~~On this CD, we were looking for more than our last. We wanted to make this one a full length ordeal, with even higher quality. Now, there are limits to how high the quality could go, because we're still us, and we always will be, at least until genetic science gets a little better. Now, one of the band members had the bright idea of recording the music directly into his computer, after running it through a mixer, and of course, the appropriate FX pedals. Now, this was actually a good idea, I don't want to make this guy sound incompetant. Because it was a really good idea. Did I mention that this was a great idea? Such a great idea, I wish that I had thought of it. Wait a sec, I did! Anyways, enough of that drivel. With this method, the band, after renting the appropriate time in the right recording studio (a weekend in the ABU student TV lounge), everything was set up and ready to go. There was only one drawback to the whole amazingly well planned out weekend: Wes's computer is a badly assembled pile of generic garbage. Now, with this in mind, one could have possibly thought ahead, and realized that really cheap computer components give really cheap computer preformance. In our traditional Vertical Vision way, of course we didn't.
~~~So, what do you do with a recording set-up of a trashy computer and a trashy mixing board? Rent expensive new stuff at the last minute, and find someone who knows what they're doing. So, we opted for a fancy mixing board at Music Stop out of Moncton, and Andre (one of James' co-workers) out of the blue. They say that a lot can happen out of the blue, and we say that it can even happen without a can of beer. Now, you may think that that's absurd, but it's quite true.
~~~Now, there is one important point that I forgot to mention along the way here, because it didn't happen along the way here (go figure), it happened before all this crazt stuff. Luke's fancy Danelectro Fab Tone (TM) distortion pedal was broken. Now, it was not fault of his (although I always thought that pounding electronics on concrete was no way to fix them), it was indeed broken when he bought it, but the big thing was that it finally stopped working for that last time, just in time for the recording.
~~~What are you going to do about that? What else can you do? Rent something else! So, we go to Music Stop, and oddly enough (they don't really rent pedals), they rented us a pedal. So we get all excited about this, until we finally take it back with us and find out that it makes a sweet alternative rock sound about as well as Kenny G's Christmas album. So, consequently, subsequently, Luke had to use his Zoom pedal for the recording, and a concert (which just doesn't do the job at all, but that's in the past).
~~~So, now with a new recording guy, and new mixing board, a new band member, and a new way to dance to the song Mister Roboto, we start our 5.5 hour intensive recording session. We didn't have time to fully mix anything, or two really listen to what we sounded like, we had to record. And boy did we ever. By the end of things, we all felt like we had been chased four miles by a rabid kangaroo with a tazer. But it didn't matter, we had finished the recording. (Sounds of the peasants rejoicing).
~~~So, what do you do once you have finally recorded a full length album of questionable quality? Well, you make lots of more of them, of course! Not only that, but you make more than you can really afford to, so you'll be climbing out of the hole of debt for weeks, and even months! Sound like fun? Well, it is!
~~~It's like a race to see how fast you can pay off the debt! First one to the finish line gets good credit! It's a pretty disappointing prize, I must admit, but it's something to work towards. Now, of course, we did have a plan to pay off all of this Visa debt that we had incurred, just like good little capitalists. How does a band pay off debts? By doing huge, high paying gigs at places like Wembly stadium. How does Vertical Vision pay off debts? By hanging out around elementary schools and stealing lunch money. Alright, not really.
~~~Once again, we hit the road in James' mean machine (an old grey Ford Escort Wagon, although much nicer, mind you, than Wes's '89 S-10), and speed off to our News Years eve concert tour (two stops, Moncton and Saint John). Okay, so maybe it's not really a tour, with only two stops, but we like to think of it that way. Once we arrived in Moncton for our first gig, we realized something: "We have no lead guitarist here, or even a drum-kit." Now, we have gotten used to missing objects, and things going wrong, and having to work around them, so it would seem asif we have just stopped planning ahead entirely (which is not a good idea).
~~~So, 45 minutes before we were supposed to be arriving at Dawson Settlement (not creek) United Baptist Church (which is almost a 30 minute drive away from where we were). Now, this may seem like an awefully tight bind, but God provided in the end, and we got to the church on time, with a drum kit, and a temp guitarist, Jamie Cambers. Now, as many of you may know, our lead guitarists always have to be highly talented. Now, this is not because we're looking for a great sound or an impressive show, it's because we don't practice nearly enough, or even plan ahead, so they need to come up with their stuff on the spot. Jamie was no exception, and although he does not replace Luke, he did a fine job of filling in the gaps.
~~~Anyways, to make a dull story long, we did two concerts, had a good time, and sold some new CD's (not nearly enough to pay them off, but we're working on that). So, what important things have we learned from all of this? Well, lots of important things, but we're not going to remember any of those. We learned that you can have fun without beer, that kangaroos have nasty tempers, and that things tend to fall faster in a vacuum.
~~~So, on a closing note, remember to check your fly when going into public, always brush your teeth after major meals, floss irregularly (No matter what your dentist tells you. What do they really know?), and always, always remember that playing safe is the first step in keeping all your arms and legs. You'll need them someday, trust me. You may not think that you do now, but believe me, they will come in handy.
